Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Atwood Letter

Dear Duffers -

As you opened this official communique, I am sure most of you were thinking, Golf, Booze and other debaucheries. However, since the Atwood Open has become a "State of Mind", the Committee has gone to great expense to register Friday, May 9 as the First Atwood Political "COCK-US" and "MASTERdeBATE. More importantly, as this year's candidates seem to have serious character flaws, the Hall of Fame members will nominate THEIR candidate for the President.

Already, the following candidates have announced they will be attending and debating:
1. Hillary "Sava-va-sheen- no more Bush" Kubinski.
2. John "prisoner of alcohol" McBlanch.
3. Barack "Wonder who Darren" Obama lama ding dong.
4. Tit "spleterman" Romney.
5. Mike "snack boy-Ben" Fukaby.
6. Dennis "space ship Kucinich- the real pea NUT" Gusky.
7. Ron "The Canton Dental C-heater" Paul.
8. A$$hole Coalition Rookie Candidates - TBD.

The Event will be hosted and questions posed by Tim (Dwayne-Dwayne-The True Patriot-No one could be prouder) Russert.

Insincerely,
The Committee

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

how many rookies we expecting

Anonymous said...

Just what The Committee needs. A lot of duffers making comments about things they have no clue about/

The Committee

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to post this but Dr. Naz passed away at 2:30pm on Wednesday, March 26, 2008. Dr. Ken (Kenny) Nazinitsky had been a regular Atwood Attendee and Hall of Fame Member. Doc had been battling Luekemia for about a year and ran out of options. Kenny was my ex brother-in-law and leaves behind 4 children between the ages of 16 and 23. Two of his children are in Medical School.

Doc may be best remembered at Atwood for saving the life of "Pickled Herring" and winning the Hot sauce contest for wings while introducing the great unwashed of Atwood to grilled portabella mushrooms.

For those interested, details of his arrangements will follow.

John Ference

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it that Matt Ferg. started a job as the ass't pro at Elyria CC and might not be able to play in this years 5th Major? Is it true that the Committee has a suicide watch out on their D you C?

Anonymous said...

The rumor is true and there is indeed a suicide watch out for Nicko (D) especially since today is his 32nd. BDay

Anonymous said...

After a 3 year break the Grim Reaper is back!

Anonymous said...

Good someone else we can beat!

Anonymous said...

where is address to send money

Anonymous said...

The Committee
C/O John N. Ference
P.O. Box 41296
Brecksville, Ohio
44141

Anonymous said...

I've heard the Two Time Defending Cheaters are back. Is this true?

Anonymous said...

It is true.