Date: Monday, April 26, 2010
Place: Around the Corner (Rocky River)
Time: 7:00pm
Teams will be finalized.
Pairings will be drawn. (who plays whom—what round)
Rules will be discussed (again and again)--------Also, what hole everyone starts on and and how they make the turn- Shotgun start! Purdy--------after #9 you go to #10 not #1!
Most importantly:
Atwood XL shirts will be distributed---------The Committee had to guesstimate some sizes, so it would be in your best interest to attend so as to get your size.
X
The Committee
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
51 comments:
So after #18, I go on to #19?
Not the Captain
As you all know Shakey passed away. Here’s a little story I heard at the funeral home. The morgue needed someone to identify him, so the family sent two of his friends, Sheets and Ference. When the mortician pulled back the sheet and rolled him over they said, "No that’s not, Skakey." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" they said, "Well, Shakey had two assholes." "What? "Yup, we never saw 'em, but everybody used to say: There's Shakey with them two assholes!"
A final chuckle for Shakey - RIP
Duffers,
I have the answer for why the Atwood Shot Gun Start always becomes a cluster?
One out of four Duffers at Atwood is unbalanced. TF, think of your three closest friends… if they seem Okay - You’re the one.
Maybe Doctor Phil
DOG,
Please tell Kevin Jordan that the shot gun start takes place on the golf course not in the lodge parking lot.
The Captain
News Flash: Tiger Woods will be attending XL Atwood Open! Given his racial heritage and hearing that it’s going to be a Black Thai affair he couldn't pass it up.
TF X
TF,
With all the confusion about the shot gun start - I have a question?
Duffer: What’s the penalty for playing the wrong hole?
TF: Ask Tiger, he knows.
Doctor Phil
X,
How are we supposed to compete with the team with Tiger on it? Simple, if a blonde with big breasts beat him, it’s time for Ference to bleach his hair!
Still Not Smitty
ESPN reported today that while Tiger is in fact attending this years Atwood tournament, he will not be arriving until Friday morning. Tiger's entourage was quoted as saying that Tiger was very concerned that Thursday Night's festivities were against his 12 step regimen of self improvement. When Smitty was asked about this development, he responded " Since when does smoking, toking and drinking have anything to do with banging waitresses"?
Mike and Mike
Tiger who? If the Committee had any clout - they would bring in the MAN and my HERO Larry King!
TF, Jerry, Horshaks Dog, Shit Head, Asshole
TF,
Explain to the Captain - when you are talking about a shot gun start you’re talking about Golf not Beers
Maybe the Kibler Youth
Since ESPN is covering XL Atwood Open we want to make sure our viewers understand the rules. Could someone besides TF Sheets calls and explain them to us.
Mike and Mike
Dear Zen Master,
"What is a handcapped golfer?"
"One who plays with Gus Gus (The New Susan Luchi) as his A."
Rudy
Atwood Golf Quotes:
“Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken forty years to discover that I can't play it.”
TF, Jerry, Horshaks Dog, Shit Head, Asshole
Another TF Golf Quotes:
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.
TF, Jerry, Horshaks Dog, Shit Head, Asshole
A Quote from Smitty:
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.
Atwood Quote:
"It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot."
Maybe the Ference Family
You are all pussys...Gus (stop saying my name twice)
Will TF SphincterBell be table diving this year like Peter Licking Pan?
THE REAL CAPTAIN
You guys are all Gussys. Stop saying my name twice. Puss Puss
You guys are all Gussys. Stop saying my name twice. Puss Puss
Rudy Rudy - No that's Kubi Kubi dressed like Rudy Rudy.
SphincterBell SphincterBell
Did Gus say “You are all Pussys?" That clinches it, I’m definitely playing in the Atwood Open!
The Real Tiger Woods
Pussy - Count me in too!
The Real Ben Roethlisberger
Hey SphincterBell:
The inside word at the bar the other night was that you're a "C" this year? Why are you only a "C"? Were there too many .
Ference's to make you a "D"?
Still Smitty
The NFL has cleared Big Ben Roethlisberger to play in the Atwood open. The stars have aligned for the Dream Team foursome-- Big Ben will be joining Tiger Woods, John (bad boy)Daly, and the “D” for this group: Larry King. Daly, Tiger and Ben are Atwood naturals. Larry will give TF Sheets someone to look up to as he finalizes his eight divorce (that’s King’s number 8, not Sheets.) Daly has lost some weight so while Gus/Gus may not shoot the best round, he will still be the most round. If Ben and Tiger hit karaoke, there will be plenty of competition for the local womenfolk. Who will take home camo pants and The Red Dress?
Look out Atwood; here comes the dream team
The Original Recipe - "Not Smitty"
In a lesser story from ESPN: The Committee learned today that "Fat Elvis" Chris Bogash, is still on suspension and won't be at Atwood XL. Evidently, the picture of him driving his cart on the 18th fairway, with a beer, a candy bar, a cigarette and a joint was too much for the PGA to dismiss.
In an even lesser story released today by ESPN--------- "Grass fairy" Kevin Burke has been scratched from this years Atwood tournament. Evidently, Tiger can play with a torn cartilage but "Soccer boy" can't. So the only conclusion ESPN could come up with was------Golfers are tougher than Soccer players!
Wrestlers
In an even lesser story released today by ESPN--------- "Grass fairy" Kevin Burke has been scratched from this years Atwood tournament. Evidently, Tiger can play with a torn cartilage but "Soccer boy" can't. So the only conclusion ESPN could come up with was------Golfers are tougher than Soccer players!
Wrestlers
Dateline Vatican City
The Church is looking to recruit Wrestlers to alleviate the pedophile ooops I mean preist shortage. Sweaty guys hugging other sweaty guys seemed the logical group to pursue. Pin me baby pin me.
David Beckham
With only 9 days until Atwood XL (see countdown, Kubi) one burning question remains. "How many chucks can a woodchuck chuck"
Ted Sheets aka brother of SphincterBell/
Duffers: Here are last years stats-
The winning team had 43 points (possible 72)-59%- 8 of 14 teams were within 5 1/2 pts of the champs.
5 teams were within 2 1/2 pts of the 40 pts. it took to qualify for the playoffs. Every stroke, putt, 1/2 pt. is crucial.
Lowlights: (1 Canton Lions were last-25 pts. (2) Neither Sheets won a match.
Conclusion: Sheets' SUCK
Not Chris Ference
What another INJURED Grass Fairy - David Beckham - doing chirping about Wrestlers? It just adds more creditability to our statement that Golfers are tougher than Soccer Players. And stop peeking at the bulge in our singlets.
Wrestlers
Why pick on TF's losing golf percentage? It equals his losing marriage percentage!
Maybe D. Paul
SphincterBell Sheets was so distraut about getting beat up on the Atwood Open Blog, when he saw a billboard saying: NEED HELP, CALL JESUS 1-800-005-3787. Out of curiosity , he did. A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
The Atwood Lost Boys, we'll never grow up!
If Grass Fairy Burke is a scratch. What will the committee do with the only Extra Medium shirt they bought?
John "Shirtless" Daly
Hey Wrestler - "creditability" is now a word??!! Looks like maybe you have cauliflower brain as well as cauliflower ear.
So golfers are tough because Tiger beat a short Italian on one leg. What's the big deal - every year at Atwood I see 60 old drunks beat a short Italian - Mario.
I hope that pussy Yo is coming this year. I am going to kick his candy ass.
Paul Carte
Hey Blanche, get in line. I get him first.
Super Dave
I see the grass fairy comments have started. As a fan of all sports, here is how I see the argument.
Soccer - no scoring, bunch of diving, bunch of foreigners, girls can play, boring, etc. etc.
Football - the committee all played - how tough, athletic and intellectually demanding can it be?
Based on the above soccer has the edge.
Holy Fuck, I know the economy is treating some of you worse than others but get a J O B! You guys are hitting this site like a two dollar hooker! Go make a sales call, bang your old lady or your girl friend or both for Pete's sakes. How many Puss Puss's, Not Smitty's, or DC Cali's can you boys come up with?? You got to get a hobby! Take up knitting, carving wood, banging ore's or something...
Stay off this site and do something constructive in your lives other than wait for another Atwood. I know all of you old Goats are looking forward to seeing D Weaver's Man Pussy again or Kubi picking up a Cheese Puff with his old naked wrinkeld hariy ass, maybe Wagga will drill some staples through his arm again, or take a hot dogg off your head but LIG "Let IT Go"
By the way, who was the Vagina who said Mario was a bad golfer??? Probably someone he mowed down in past Atwood's??? I am just saying! Don't be jealous of that beautiful bald head of his!!! (this is Mario in case you GED'ers haven't figured it out by now). and I know half of you have a GED! Don't lie you know who you are.
All I have to say is BOHICA: stands for "Bend Over Here It Comes Again"! Whoever I am playing, please where orange, it will remind me of me prison raping you, I'll whisper in your ear and tell you that you are my prison bitch, AGAIN. I know some of you may say, how many Atwoods have you won Marion, Blah Blah Blah! Fact of the matter is how ever many Atwood's I have not won will not make up for the difference of how much wool I snag...
I get more wool than Saks Fifth Ave! Boys, can't wait to see most of you! Jerry too bad you're not on my team this year! Yo, I hear you and I are playing together this year, it may be a Chopper lay down on some of these Shoe Boys. Like in the old days a couple of chi's lumping up some Shoe Boys at the BBC! Now that's old school huh!
It's gonna be fun times! You guys are all a bunch of Tiger's!!!!!!! See you at Around the Corner, and I am not buying!!!!
Peace
Holy Fuck, I know the economy is treating some of you worse than others but get a J O B! You guys are hitting this site like a two dollar hooker! Go make a sales call, bang your old lady or your girl friend or both for Pete's sakes. How many Puss Puss's, Not Smitty's, or DC Cali's can you boys come up with?? You got to get a hobby! Take up knitting, carving wood, banging ore's or something...
Stay off this site and do something constructive in your lives other than wait for another Atwood. I know all of you old Goats are looking forward to seeing D Weaver's Man Pussy again or Kubi picking up a Cheese Puff with his old naked wrinkeld hariy ass, maybe Wagga will drill some staples through his arm again, or take a hot dogg off your head but LIG "Let IT Go"
By the way, who was the Vagina who said Mario was a bad golfer??? Probably someone he mowed down in past Atwood's??? I am just saying! Don't be jealous of that beautiful bald head of his!!! (this is Mario in case you GED'ers haven't figured it out by now). and I know half of you have a GED! Don't lie you know who you are.
All I have to say is BOHICA: stands for "Bend Over Here It Comes Again"! Whoever I am playing, please where orange, it will remind me of me prison raping you, I'll whisper in your ear and tell you that you are my prison bitch, AGAIN. I know some of you may say, how many Atwoods have you won Marion, Blah Blah Blah! Fact of the matter is how ever many Atwood's I have not won will not make up for the difference of how much wool I snag...
I get more wool than Saks Fifth Ave! Boys, can't wait to see most of you! Jerry too bad you're not on my team this year! Yo, I hear you and I are playing together this year, it may be a Chopper lay down on some of these Shoe Boys. Like in the old days a couple of chi's lumping up some Shoe Boys at the BBC! Now that's old school huh!
It's gonna be fun times! You guys are all a bunch of Tiger's!!!!!!! See you at Around the Corner, and I am not buying!!!!
Peace
Holy Fuck, I know the economy is treating some of you worse than others but get a J O B! You guys are hitting this site like a two dollar hooker! Go make a sales call, bang your old lady or your girl friend or both for Pete's sakes. How many Puss Puss's, Not Smitty's, or DC Cali's can you boys come up with?? You got to get a hobby! Take up knitting, carving wood, banging ore's or something...
Stay off this site and do something constructive in your lives other than wait for another Atwood. I know all of you old Goats are looking forward to seeing D Weaver's Man Pussy again or Kubi picking up a Cheese Puff with his old naked wrinkeld hariy ass, maybe Wagga will drill some staples through his arm again, or take a hot dogg off your head but LIG "Let IT Go"
By the way, who was the Vagina who said Mario was a bad golfer??? Probably someone he mowed down in past Atwood's??? I am just saying! Don't be jealous of that beautiful bald head of his!!! (this is Mario in case you GED'ers haven't figured it out by now). and I know half of you have a GED! Don't lie you know who you are.
All I have to say is BOHICA: stands for "Bend Over Here It Comes Again"! Whoever I am playing, please where orange, it will remind me of me prison raping you, I'll whisper in your ear and tell you that you are my prison bitch, AGAIN. I know some of you may say, how many Atwoods have you won Marion, Blah Blah Blah! Fact of the matter is how ever many Atwood's I have not won will not make up for the difference of how much wool I snag...
I get more wool than Saks Fifth Ave! Boys, can't wait to see most of you! Jerry too bad you're not on my team this year! Yo, I hear you and I are playing together this year, it may be a Chopper lay down on some of these Shoe Boys. Like in the old days a couple of chi's lumping up some Shoe Boys at the BBC! Now that's old school huh!
It's gonna be fun times! You guys are all a bunch of Tiger's!!!!!!! See you at Around the Corner, and I am not buying!!!!
Peace
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that last comment on The Committee hurt!
X
The Committee
Who’s Mario? Didn’t anybody ever tell him that Moore isn’t better?
By the way – nice computer skills! That’s the only kind of Three Peat you’ll ever have.
Not Kubi, Not Kubi, Not Kubi
Sorry Cleveland you don’t SUCK. Just that guy named Mario.
Joakim Noah
To the unknown Duffer named Mario. Some advice from one who knows - there is a fine line between confidence and ARROGANCE!
Gen X Want-to-Be Jimmy Clausen
Mario,
I am not a Gen-Xer so I am not always current with the latest expressions. When you say "wool", as in "I am getting all the wool I want", are you referring to that patch of fur on Gus Gus' chin?
Just Wondering
You know for some reason I never had to worry about people staring at the buldge in my singlet.
Dream (captain of rrhs wrestling 21-10)
I give you a patch of fur on your chin with two giant nuts behind it...Gus (one word)
If Grass Fairy Burke is a scratch. What will the committee do with the only Extra Medium shirt they bought? John "Shirtless" Daly
Post a Comment