At-Ogle-Wood---XLI
Committee Report:
Despite numerous logistical & administrative challenges, the weekend was another social and golfing phenomenon. Special Kudos to DOC (Director Of Cuisine) Vern Sharbaugh and DOG (Director Of Golf) JR Sheets for making the weekend another Atwood Success. Not to be forgotten, was the Rookie Night presentation superbly orchestrated by MOE (Minister Of Entertainment) Dwayne Kibler and to a MUCH lesser extent MON (Minister of Nothing) Jim Kubinski. Lastly, D Ferguson and Snack Boy for their tireless work in grilling Saturday's dinner and providing sustenance on the course during tournament play.
Congrats to this years Champions. Kevin Papushak, (first five time champion), Joe Caruso, Pauli Ferguson and finally etching his name for having attended, Super Dave Ferguson. The Committee is evaluating whether this team will be allowed to defend due to errors made in calculating ABCD status of this team. A special counsel will be convened to see if there was any Russian collusion.
Also, Congrats to Bill Byrne, and Andrew Oselin for entering the HOF. Amongst the rookies were questions as to the qualifications for entering this hallowed group of Duffers . In summary, they are. (1) Be invited by a current HOFamer, submit a thorough resume with financials and tax returns OR be an asshole. Two, The Committee after a thorough vetting must approve . Three, survive two years without being placed on double secret probation and finally in your third year have unanimous Committee vote.
As for Double Secret Probation, all Duffers, rookies and veterans are discussed as to their continued participation. The only REAL qualification for being placed on this list is "being too big an ASSHOLE "-- currently, a small number (1) are being discussed. It takes a majority of the Committee to take this nuclear option and they are currently interviewing Duffers who had an issue with this person, who obviously pissed off more than one! Due to HIPPA restrictions and possible litigation concerns, The Committee can't comment any further.
In summary, The Committee thanks everyone for coming and contributing and hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. Next year, WE WILL RETURN--- May 4-6. Save the date and stay informed! To help out the staff at Oglebay, we WILL have stricter timelines on when $ must be submitted and will not hesitate to not accept anyone who is tardy. In addition, The Committee is pursuing a more direct approach (Late summer, early fall junket) with Oglebay management concerning Cabins(keys), golf course ownership ( giving us one course ) and the facilitation of grills. If you enjoyed the weekend and want to return, YOU stay current! If you're not getting some messages, it's up to you to ask other Duffers.
Insincerely,
X
The Committee
Friday, May 18, 2018
Friday, May 11, 2018
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