Dear Duffers -
As you opened this official communique, I am sure most of you were thinking, Golf, Booze and other debaucheries. However, since the Atwood Open has become a "State of Mind", the Committee has gone to great expense to register Friday, May 9 as the First Atwood Political "COCK-US" and "MASTERdeBATE. More importantly, as this year's candidates seem to have serious character flaws, the Hall of Fame members will nominate THEIR candidate for the President.
Already, the following candidates have announced they will be attending and debating:
1. Hillary "Sava-va-sheen- no more Bush" Kubinski.
2. John "prisoner of alcohol" McBlanch.
3. Barack "Wonder who Darren" Obama lama ding dong.
4. Tit "spleterman" Romney.
5. Mike "snack boy-Ben" Fukaby.
6. Dennis "space ship Kucinich- the real pea NUT" Gusky.
7. Ron "The Canton Dental C-heater" Paul.
8. A$$hole Coalition Rookie Candidates - TBD.
The Event will be hosted and questions posed by Tim (Dwayne-Dwayne-The True Patriot-No one could be prouder) Russert.
Insincerely,
The Committee
